I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
