like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
