oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
