Don't you send me to vm
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
