im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
