Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
