I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
