he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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