ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
