Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
