If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
