Fuck appropriateness.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
