Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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