your room smells of hookers.
And success
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
