Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
