Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
