I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
