worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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