don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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