I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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