Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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