Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
