I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Randomize
