He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
