im gay
i know
yea but for you.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
