Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
