So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
