you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
