i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize
