I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
