His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
