you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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