um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
