So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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