Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
My feet surprised me
Randomize
