No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
