I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
