"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Randomize
