How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
