Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
you will always have a special place in my vag
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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