FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
