How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
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