i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
