When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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