Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
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