it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
