Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
