i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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