Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
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