Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
